By Rob HarrisS

 

I’d like to begin with the definition of leadership.  The definition I like most is from Dr. John Maxwell, noted author, pastor and business founder.  Dr. Maxwell’s definition is “Leadership is influence; nothing more, nothing less.”

 

This definition is clear, concise and to the point and to me, powerful.  It begs the questions-How influential am I- and to whom am I influential?

 

The fact is we are all influential to someone at sometime.  It may be at work, at home, at church, on the street, in some organization or another-So since we are all influential at some time or another, we are all leaders! But how influential we are is another matter.

 

We learn at an early age how to cope with power and control.  In fact, our first models of leadership come from our parents and other adults.  And what we learned, as we got talked down to, literally and figuratively, was how to rebel to get our point across.  We learned that tantrums are effective in getting our way and that adults get tired of hearing whining or crying so they give in.  We also learn the limits of what we can get away with-so we know when to stop.

 

The second influential group we faced were teachers.  They spent a lot of time with us.  They molded our minds and taught us to think and reason and to apply our learning.  They also taught us some valuable leadership lessons.

 

I want you to think about the teacher you liked least in school.  What was it he or she did or said that influenced you? How did they treat you? How did it make you feel? And how did you react? In fair play I want you to now think of the teacher who had the most positive influence upon you.  What was it they said or did that had such a positive influence?  How did they treat you? How did it make you feel? And how did you react?

 

We could extend this exercise to work using examples of the most/least influential leadership you have experienced. 

 

We as associates, constituents, spouses, children, etc. respond and feel similarly as adults as we responded and felt as children.  Often times at work we are seeing adult manifestations of childhood behavior.  I’m sure this doesn’t happen where you work but some places I’ve been, people call in sick, they resist, defy authority, strike back, lie, blame others, butter up the boss or just conform. But then, we as leaders often give advice, offer solutions, and provide answers to challenges others are capable of handling because it is easier than training or developing our constituents.

 

So I pose this question to you: if your employees, associates, constituents, spouses and even children are displaying childish behavior, is it because you are treating them as an over controlling parent or adult would?  They may be responding to the overuse of your power and/or authority, or rebelling against the command-and-control, top down management philosophy.

 

Here is a quick self-check.  Approach these questions with an open mind and honesty to help you identify opportunities to improve your leadership influences.

 

• Do I really trust the capacity of the team and of the individuals on it to solve problems facing us or do I basically trust myself?

 

• Do I create a climate in which my team can have creative discussions by being willing to hear, understand, accept and respect all input or do I try to influence the outcome?

 

• Do I honestly try to express my own beliefs and ideas without trying to control those of others?

 

• Do I make it possible for conflict to be brought out into the open or do I subtly communicate through words or behavior that conflict should be hidden or not addressed?

 

• Do I interact with others based upon my judgment of their actions or do I focus upon tangible behavior and its effect upon me?

 

I ask you to take to heart your responses of trusting only yourself, influencing the outcome of discussions, controlling others thoughts and feelings, avoiding conflicts and working through judgments.

 

 

Dr. Thomas Gordon, noted psychologist, author of Leader Effectiveness Training and three time Nobel Prize nominee spent many of his years studying effective leadership.  He focused upon the interaction between leaders and their followers.  His findings include that it is the follower who either accepts or rejects the influence of the leader.  They key question then is why do followers accept or reject?

 

Followers follow because the leader is able to satisfy their needs.  Leaders at work must balance the technical skills to meet organizational objectives with the human relations skills necessary to meet the needs of their workers, constituents, peers, and supervisors.  And just as technical skill are learnable, so are people skills. One of the most frequent errors we make is promoting excellent technicians into leadership roles without preparing them first.  We somehow expect the newly promoted to develop human relations competencies over the weekend.

 

Dr. Gordon, in his book, Leader Effectiveness Training, first published in 1977, provides a model for leadership that has withstood the test of time and management fads.  It continues to improve human relations at home, at work and around the globe.  Coastline Training and Development is proud to live by and share Tom’s philosophy.  We believe that what makes a truly effective, influential leader is:

 

• The ability to establish and maintain open communication with team members and coworkers

 

• The ability to listen with empathy so others feel understood

 

• The ability to express his/her feelings and concerns clearly and honestly without blame

 

• The ability to resolve conflicts in such a way no one loses

 

Leadership skills are people skills; it takes training and practice to perfect, but the payoffs come in increased morale, productivity, profitability and energy.

 

For more information contact Rob Harris, President, Coastline Training and Development, Inc. www.coastlinetraining.com, 410.742.5500