1. First, define what you really, REALLY want.

Most people have never defined the life they truly desire. They say they want "happiness" or a "great family life", or a certain income or lifestyle, but there is a lack of clarity and lack of focus to the definition. They have a dream, but not a definition of the life they want.

And that's an essential distinction! There are two pieces you have to really "get" about defining the life you want. Let's look at them separately for a moment.

The first is be very specific. "Happiness" is a sensation, an emotion, even an experience, but it is not a goal. The same can be said of "success" or "peace of mind" or "personal fulfillment".

To have the life you want, you must describe it in detail and that involves hard choices, and it takes courage. Do you want more money, or a less stressful job? Climbing the competitive ladder may take you away from loved ones, or require other sacrifices. What is it you really, really want?

And second, it's critical to distinguish between a lifestyle, and the life you really want. A new car, lots of money, a big house and lavish vacations are nice, but most people want those things because they MEAN something. They expect that the money will make them feel a certain way. What happens if you get the money, but still don't feel "successful"?

The first step in having the life you really want is to define what's most important to you. What brings you joy or fulfillment? What fires the passion, the challenge and the satisfaction in your life? How do you measure success?

2. The second step: find the smallest steps that will take you toward your goal.

Why the "smallest steps"? Because people always look for the big steps, the huge, dramatic life-changing solutions that rarely work, and that we're afraid to take anyway.

Once you've defined the life you really want, take a few minutes to create two important lists:

3. The third: Take ACTION! (You knew that was coming!)

Of course you have to take action! In the end, nothing changes until you take action and start changing your life. If you want more friends, take action! If you want more money, ask for a raise, make more sales, invest more effectively - take action! If you want a healthier, happier family, schedule a picnic, go to a movie, stay home and talk to each other!

Highly successful people are not the rich, the famous, or the lucky. Successful people, in my book, are people who define what they really want, and take simple, specific steps to get it. They take action! Very few of us will have a miraculous, life-changing event. For most of us, life changes in small steps that we take every day. To have and live the life you really, really, REALLY want, define it, and find the baby steps that take you in that direction. And then, start walking!

By Dr Philip E. Humbert, author, speaker and personal success coach. Dr Humbert has hundreds of tips, tools and articles on his website that you can use for your own success! It's a great resource! Visit him on the web at: www.philiphumbert.com